I have my bad and good days. Some days, I really really miss my grandmother. Grief is a throbbing pain in your heart that doesn’t seem to go away. It becomes slightly duller but it aches. The image of her smiling face, the twinkle in her eyes and her old fashioned styled hair with heaps of hair spray stays with me.
Last year this time, there was so much excitement. I was heavily pregnant. My family was planning their big trip to stay with us for 12 weeks. An pending new arrival to the family brought a buzz. Who would have thought the past year would be filled with so many memories- both happy, troubled, happy and sad?
We are planning Asher’s first birthday and then it hit me that granny won’t be here physically to celebrate with us. I’m holding on though, to the memories of our family waking up together and looking forward to seeing Asher in those early days when he arrived. The laughs during his full month celebration and cooking lessons that grandmother gave me (yam cake and chill). The precious cuddles they shared.
Of course, we had our trips back where grandmother spent mornings and days seeing Asher play at my parents flat, or helped entertained Asher while I do a quick workout at the exercise park.
And the worrying times where Gran rebelled against death and came back from heart failure and her stint at ICU in February.
The sadder times when we lost her.
I was browsing photos of treats and bakes I made when this caught my eye again. This was made for a family gathering. At that lunch, we spoke about grandmother’s likes and dislikes, and how the whole family became closer together (extended family included) this year. That is what my grandmother would have love to know. She would have love to take an adventurous bite of these small chocolate vanilla slices and give me her two cents about how it’s not sweet enough, or it’s too hard, or that it’s “ok”. But she would eat it with a smile anyway.
Chocolate Vanilla Slice (makes 24 mini ones) Adapted from Spunky Coconut.
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup cacao powder
2 tablespoons of linseed meal
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 cup of almond butter
1/2 cup coconut milk
3 tablespoons of honey
1 tablespoon of vanilla paste
1 cup of coconut butter
1/4 cup of water
2 tablespoons of honey
2 tsp of vanilla paste
100 grams of dark chocolate
1/2 cup of coconut milk
Pre heat oven to 180C. Line a 8×8 square dish.
To make the base- mix the wet ingredients using a mixer. Then fold in dry ingredients. Press it to the pan and bake for 30 minutes or so. Cool.
To make the Vanilla- Mix everything in a mixer. Spread frosting over the base.
Chocolate Ganache- In a saucepan, melt chocolate in coconut milk. Pour ganache over the frosting. Fridge it over night.
Cut into small pieces and enjoy.